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Gary Delaney: ‘The Beach Boys were driving around Solihull in tanks trying to kill me’ | Stage

The funniest sketch I’ve ever seen …

Victoria Wood and Julie Walters: The Waitress sketch. The simplicity of it is amazing. One great idea, one great performer and the rest sorts itself out. Perfect.

The funniest film I’ve ever seen …

Airplane! by Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker. I love their editing discipline. A joke that didn’t get a laugh at previews was automatically cut out.

The funniest person I know …

[Comic and Delaney’s wife] Sarah Millican. And I’d still say that even if I didn’t have to.

The funniest heckle I’ve ever had …

Sunny afternoon gig in a tent for bikers: one slips round the back for a sneaky wee, inadvertently creating a very graphic shadow puppet behind me on the stage. Like a Hells Angel Manneken Pis.

The funniest meal I’ve ever eaten …

Frogs’ legs. It’s hard to eat without looking like you’re graphically “performing a sex act”, as the tabloids say.

The funniest dream …

The Beach Boys were driving around Solihull in tanks trying to kill me, and I had to find a swimming pool to hide in. Terrifying at the time.

The funniest thing that shouldn’t be funny …

Children falling over. I’d watch a whole show of this. With a voiceover by Harry Hill. Oh, hang on, I’ve just invented You’ve Been Framed!.

The funniest joke I’ve ever heard …

A cyclops and a unicorn – now that’s an accident waiting to happen. By Rohan Agalawatta.

Gary Delaney plays Lyceum Theatre, Crewe, Sunday 24 November; touring to 18 March

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